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For the last year and some odd months, I have wanted to write two different novels; a serial killer story and an immortal stalker story.  The problem is I have no idea how to write a crime story or how to pace it.  To learn, I have read multiple books on serial killers.  I have read true crime novels on stalkers.  I went through a mound of books on lore and mythology to find out what flavor my immortal stalker will be. None of those have worked.  Then I moseyed over to television, and binge watched the ID network, 48 Hours, 20/20, and other similar shows.

After a year and some days, I can tell you that most cases get solved not by forensics or good ole fashioned police work.  Most people are caught because of severe stupidity.

If you don’t, believe me, I think you should bone up on the, Death by Text case.  Here is a hint if you are a self-absorbed, spoiled brat, and you would encourage someone to kill themselves, don’t do it on text message.  Otherwise Massachusetts will give you 15 years in prison.

Travis Forbes, the serial rapist and murder, beat detectives.  Denver detectives had no physical evidence of his involvement, or eyewitness evidence, not even a body.  But then stupidity grabbed him in the ass.  He used his cell phone while burying a woman’s body.  Thus, putting him at the scene of the crime.  Now he is serving 50 years in a Colorado prison.

Gregory Graf from Pennsylvania takes the cake.  Mr. Graf is my dumbass award recipient.  If you are going to kill your stepdaughter and then fuck her corpse, maybe you shouldn’t video tape the crime.  These are only three that are at the top of my head.

Considering this new evidence, I think I am going to write the opposite of the sophisticated criminal character (aka Hannibal Lecter).  Maybe a bumbling cartoon character modeled after Goofy.  He will write the details of the murder down on a piece of paper, and leave that paper in the trunk of his car. His crime is so good that after six years police haven’t even heard his name.  But since his Goofy, he will be implicated when he gets pulled over for running a red light.  Instead of shutting his mouth he will make his second stupid mistake, arguing with the police officer.  The Popo would have just written him a ticket, but instead, puts effort into finding probable cause to search his vehicle.  Thus leading to the detailed account of his crime in his trunk. (I can’t go with that plot line because (I SHIT YOU NOT) a criminal did this).


Cari Jo

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